Why Holly Madison Was Ready to Investigate The Playboy Murders

While she said it was “a relief” to “have other people come out with stories that corroborated” her own when she participated in the A&E docuseries last year, Madison said the experience of hearing what they went through was difficult.

“When I watched all of the episodes I wasn’t in, I would have a nightmare every night after I watched one,” she shared, “because it was just all this crazy horrible stuff.”

Madison admitted that she still struggles to cope with her experience at the mansion, but said that her podcast—Girls Next Level, which she co-hosts with her former Girls Next Door co-star Bridget Marquardt—has “been great because it’s allowed me to reclaim the good memories as well and also work through the tough ones.”

And Madison credited her relationship with Marquardt for changing the “vibe” among the women she once lived with at the mansion.